Thursday, April 8, 2010

My Faith

I haven't written specifically about my faith on this blog, although I have elluded to it.  I am a Christian, a born again believer.  I believe that people are created and that God gives them a purpose in life.  I am not a bible thumper, or someone who pushes my beliefs on anyone else.  God created us with free will, to think for ourselves and form our own beliefs.  However, a large part of my story as a single parent in law school has to do with my walk with God.

When I was nine years old, I knew I wanted to be an attorney.  I sat in a courtroom and watched the intricate dance that took place there.  I was fascinated.  I sat in a judge's chair that afternoon and told him I wanted to be like him.  The Judge turned my chair, pointed it towards a window, and stated that if that was so, the school across the street was the place to go.

I worked through high school thinking I would go to college and then law school.  But something happened in my senior year....a rebellion, a need to be independent.  I began to take a different path in life.  One that turned destructive and I ended up in an abusive relationship.  When my daughter was born, I realized that one day, my then husband would eventually turn his abusive hands to our daughter.  I left when I was twenty five.

The next two years were spent healing.  But more than that, I believe that God was renewing that dream within my heart and my mind.  People were brought in to my life that encouraged me to go for it.  Some questioned me.  But I remember clearly, sitting one morning at church, as my dear friend and worship pastor talked about faith.  He showed a clip of Indiana Jones, where he is getting ready to walk across an invisible bridge.  Cory said that this is like taking a step of faith in obedience.  We take that first step, and then the rung will appear.  I knew that my step would be going to school and believing that all things would be provided for.

And amazingly, my path was paved.  God brought people in my life to care for my child, to support me in times of overwhelming stress, to come along side me and love me, and people who would hug me when times were hard.  God provided in all times financially, even when there appeared to be no way.  When I needed a job, I believe that God opened the right doors, the doors where I would learn the most.

My faith in the belief that I was called to preserve justice, and protect society is what saw me through the toughtest and hardest times of law school.  I am passionate about the law.  I am passionate about the role law plays in the United States.  I am passionate in the belief that law is what keeps society together.  I passionately belief that I have been called to be a keeper of the law, like Deborah in the book of Judges in the Bible.

I don't want to preach, or prosteylitize to anyone......what I do want to do is share with you my intense gratitude in the provisions that God made for me.  How faithful He is at all times.  How He honors our obedience to His calling.

I don't know what draws most people to law school.  I don't know if it is a dream of power, or money, or position, or even fame......I know that I was drawn for a purpose by God.  Making this experience a wonderful example of walking in obedience and walking by faith.

3 comments:

  1. This is so amazing! You are so strong and the best kind of role model. I feel that I am walking a similar path. As always, love your blog...I always feel so encouraged by it!

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  2. Rachael, thank you--you have paid me the highest compliment. Someone said a few years ago, that God would use me as a "permission giver" to women. That they would see me as an example of a path that can be walked. I claim that totally and this blog has been an attempt to help women [and men who are single parents] know that this can be done! God Bless!

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  3. As I read your blog, it reminds me of what I am going through in my life right now. I had finished high school and started college and I guess was searching for my own independence if you will at the age of 20-21. I became pregnant and dropped out of college and started working and my relationship with my son's father was not that I had anticipated it to be. I left last year, before I turned 25 and felt like I needed something in my life of substance, meaning, something that I wanted to do for myself. I am grateful for having my mother's help with my son, but I am at a crossroads in my life and I am trying to find an answer or sign to tell me what to do. I want to move to New York to finish my bachelors and go on to law school, which I feel so confident and happy when I think about it but it will be a new city, where I don't know anyone and my mother will not be with me to help with my son (4 yrs old). I see a bright light at the end of all the sacrifices, yet I am uncertain if I can manage. I don't have any friends that have children without help so I don't know who to turn to. If you can give any advice or insight, it would be greatly appreciated:) I love your strength and by reading it alone, feel like where there's a will, there's a way.

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