Here are some of my musings tonight.
First, I interviewed for a staff attorney position on Monday and on Thursday, I received a call back interview. I was really excited. Let me share with you first that this job is nothing like I imagined doing when I went to law school. There is no court room involved. More contracts and torts work (love torts, not so much on contracts!). But, I am excited. First, because it is a small office enviornment and close knit. I can tell that they are looking for a really good fit to be a part of the team. Second, law is the not the primary purpose of this business. I would be a staff attorney for a trade association. I like this thought. My job would be primarily teaching CLE classes for a trade. One thing that always bothered me about working at the DOJ was lack of people contact. I like people (most of the time). I like human interaction and miss it when I don't have it. I also do not like drafting the same motions over and over and over. This job would be varied and I would remain in a constant state of learning.
Which brings me to my next musing. I went to law school to prosecute. I took a high concentration in criminal law and I love it. However, having these last few months off to study has also given me time to reflect. I had started becoming jaded and cynical with almost a cop mentality. Everyone was suspicious. Everyone was a potential child abuser or criminal. I really don't want to live my life that way. And certainly, while my child is at home, I don't want to be someone who ticks the criminal element off to the point that someone might try and hunt me down.
Also, after four months out of law school, I am really quite tired of all the legal questions that come my way on criminal matters and divorce. I kind of want to be able to honestly say "That's not my specialty. I can give you the name of someone."
I guess I say all this to admit that maybe I am wussing out, or maybe I am changing my mind, or maybe I never really knew what I wanted to do to begin with? I don't know. I am just open to all things. I am open to all possibilities. And I am excited that this job will be new and interesting -- keep your fingers crossed for me. They said they want to make a decision by September 24th (btw: bar results come out that day too!).
EDIT TO ADD ON 10/6/2010: I had to read back on what I wrote here and admit something......this job would have been a copout for me. I was MADE to do trial work, whatever that may be. I was made for the cut and thrust of litigation, the challenge, the thrill, the chase, the stress, the nerves, the first responder attitude I have, all of it. I was uniquely created to take up a mantle that few lawyers have taken up and few are cut out to do. I would have taken this job for two reasons: 1. Fear of failure and 2. Lure of money. Really, not until I held the "Thank you, but we are not hiring you" letter did I really, really evaluate how much of a sell out this would have been. And how much a breaking of a sacred trust this job would have been for me (more on this thought to come)....... MORAL TO THE STORY: Be open to different TYPES of law, but be TRUE TO YOUR SELF!