This morning I woke up and did not believe that yesterday happened. I think after fighting for so hard the relief feels unreal. I had to go to my computer and open the results again and look to just make sure it was all real.
After everything was said and done yesterday, I burnt my bar study books! LOL. Yes, yes it felt good. I even took some pictures which I will share one on here.
I have a friend who took it with me that did not pass. I felt for this person like nothing else because I have been there so many times. You want to be happy for your friends, but you are left asking that ultimate question: Why? Why did they pass and not me?
I have spent a lot of time analyzing why. Why would God do this when I went to law school out of obedience to the dream that He gave me many years ago. I don't know that the "Why" will ever truly be answered. But a dear friend reminded me of a few things of the Why....... my daughter has had to share me with this journey for an awful long time. And these last two years have been full of turmoil for her... but the beauty is that I was able to be there for her. My family went through a series of hospital visits, personal issues, pregnancies and other things where I had the time to assist. I was there to take care of them, to love on them..... in ways that if I had passed, there is no way I could have been there. If for only those reasons, in the bigger scheme of the cosmos, I did not pass, then it's okay, I am at peace with it.
I write this to say to all: If you find yourself in my position, please don't give up. There is likely a bigger purpose in the journey that you need to learn. I am still learning and analyzing mine. Someday I might even be grateful for the lesson.