I found myself the other day researching graduate schools. I have been struggling with the fact that many of my friends are returning to law school, but I am now graduated and out of the club. What is funny to me is they think I am nuts for wanting to be in classes. I tell them graduating is not always all it's cracked up to be. I found myself looking at options for forensic psychology or an LLM/JSD. I am frankly confused by my behavior.
Then an astute family member said something to me. School was my safety net. I knew the rules, I was really good at it, and it's safe. Right now I am without a safety net, my future is a bit uncertain, I have no job --- but rest assured I am ready to conquer this new area.
She was right. I want to go back because I know I do not fail at school. And right now, my life is in a holding pattern. I really cannot do much until my bar results. So I am stuck. Without direction, and seemingly without a purpose. I like goals, I like direction, I like to know where I am going. Where I am at is scary and I am not seeing it as a fun journey, but an out of control roller coaster ride.