Racism Debate: Law School and the Nation

One day early this semester, an unsuspecting Con Law class sat awaiting the start of a lecture. The professor entered the classroom and began to rail at the class about “allegations” made that involved white students making harassing and crude racial slurs at a black student. As a class, we were punitively punished by an assignment that included reading an additional 35 pages on race relations (on top of our other 35 pages that, oh by the way, dealt with racial discrimination in the 1960’s). The class was left stunned and reeling because this was the first students had heard about racism on campus. We left class that day feeling dirty, confused, and like guilty white racists, for what we still do not know.
Rumors and speculation spread. One week before, we had returned from winter break several of our classmates were missing. Why you ask? Because Willamette grades on a mandatory curve and some failed and were asked not to return. A comment was made that 70% of the students that did not make it back where minority. We began to wonder, was this observation and the comments made the alleged racist comment?
The faculty at the school responded---very belatedly. 2 ½ months later, the faculty called a convocation about sensitivity and professionalism in the field of law. This convocation was scarcely attended and highly scripted by the faculty. No new ground was broken. Dialogue was stinted and people were afraid to truly speak their minds for fear of being labeled, or chastised again, for what we still do not know. In addition, the faculty stressed that while they held an investigation into the “alleged” incident, they had no hard proof that it occurred.
This seemed troubling to me. In law school, we are told to “stick to the facts” and “the worst thing you can do is make up facts.” We are told, “you are innocent until proven guilty” and yet, the faculty had no facts (because all were alleged) and no trial or grievance process had been held. But as a community, we were held suspect and scolded. Again, for what, we still do not know.
My observation is that “the community” as a school, and to extend community our country as a nation, and further extending to the global community, are afraid to take on the topic of racism in real and frank terms. For the white person, this is a very, very sticky and tricky topic. Often, caucasions are accused of being racist for making comments that are not intended to be a slur, but are unintentionally racist or construed to be racist. One need only look to Geraldine Ferraro and her comments in regards to Barak Obama to see how easily and how quickly comments spiral out of control (Comments by Ferraro).
Now, let us turn to comments made by the Rev. Wright that are at the forefront of the political arena. Wright subscribes to a tenant of faith called black liberation theology, which attempts to reconcile the struggle of black oppression with that of Jesus’ message of freedom. In theory, these are appropriate analogies. However, Mr. Wright has preached from his pulpit the following statements:
"The government lied about inventing the HIV virus as a means of genocide against people of color", and "The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike laws and then wants us to sing 'God Bless America.' No, no, no, God damn America, that's in the Bible for killing innocent people...God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme.”
Amazing that his comments are some how grounded in biblical principles, and yet Ms. Ferraro is a racist.
What has been happening in the law school, is nothing but a reflection of what is happening on a larger, national scale. It is time for this country, and this school, to acknowledge a few things.
1. Racism is alive and well. We cannot begin to think that it is not. However, it is time for understanding and frank conversation, without the fear of “racist” labels.
2. There is a difference between ignorance/misunderstanding and looking a fellow human in the eye and intentionally causing degragation and dehumanization. Racism is looking a fellow human in the eye and telling them implicitly or expressively that you believe that because of your race, you are superior and that the other person is beneath you.
3. It is time for those who understand racism (and discrimination) to begin to educate those who unintentionally offend. Let me explain.
Yesterday, a classmate of mine (whom I adore) and I were discussing a case. He said, “you know the case. The one where the woman opened the outer door and got herself raped.” Did he mean to be offensive? No. Was he even aware of the offensiveness of his comment? No. I looked at him and said, “Excuse me? What do you mean got herself raped? No women gets herself raped!” Which did two things: (1) gave me an opportunity to point out the blame game that is placed on rape victims and thus the discrimination inherent, and (2) allowed for the opportunity to educate as to the offensiveness of the comment. No offense or discrimination was intended, but it happened in effect.
This kind of dialouge is NEEDED in todays society. We need to hold each other accountable, we need to educate each other, and we need to be able to do so out of kindness, compassionate and WITHOUT labeling each other. Labeling one a racist is extremely devisive in nature and does little to forward the cause.
I cannot imagine the daily struggle that people of different races, ethniticities, and certain social and class status face. I had one brush with racism while visiting Memphis years ago. I walked into a Shoney’s and was the only white person in the restaurant. While not expressly refused service, I was ignored and not seated, while persons of color where seated who had walked in after me and served. No one would look me in the eyes and I began to get hostile looks. I was extremely uncomfortable and left when it became apparent that my presence was not wanted. It gave me a new found respect for the struggles facing some people everyday.
My point is that ignoring this problem, sweeping it under the rug, or in some cases inflating it all out of preportion, is dangerous. “The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.” - Barbara Deming; and
“The ultimate measure of a person is not where one stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where one stands in times of challenge and controversy.”-- Martin Luther King, Jr. No more apt words have ever been uttered in regards to how to solve the problem Listen, exchange (not accusations, but experiences), and stand in the times of challenge and controversy. These are things are nation has failed to do, and I am sorry to say, the faculty of my school have failed to do. The solution is simple: frank, head on conversation. No accusations, no labeling, no pointing fingers.

Law school and children....

....have a hard time mixing. Maybe the fact that I have been at school for five years straight, but whatever the reason, my child is turning very resentful. I will not lie, the student is not the only one to sacrafice in order for someone to attend law school. Inevitably the child of a law student does as well.

1. Time is at a premuim. What do I mean by this? While I spend quality time with my child, we do not get as much reading time, fun time, time away as I would like. My child often hears, "not right now sweetie, mommy is reading." Children do not understand this sentence and sooner or later become very angry with it.

2. Play dates are rare. I have tried really hard to allow my child to have play dates with her friends, but it has not been as great as I would like. I live out in the country, so it is not like she can just run outside and play with her friends. It does not work this way. I have to plan for this and honestly, I don't have that much time.

3. Money is tight. And my daughter attends a school in an afluent neighborhood. Sometimes she doesn't have the clothes/things that other kids at her school do. That rankles with her. I realize this is superficial, but honestly, it's hard to explain this to a child.

4. Focus is slim. My brain is worn out at the end of the day and it is all I have in me to remember getting my own things together, let alone a childs. This means forgotten assignments, notes home, and so on. I hate it. I wish I could find a more efficient system, but so far, nada.

5. No permenant home. I am living with my parents because of budget issues, but also so that they can help me with my daughter. However, my child really craves the normal neighborhood experience with the bicycles, friends and pets. I feel terribly guilty about this, but there is not much I can really do about it.

There are many more things that are incompatible. But there are pluses too. My daughter is learning the value of education, first hand. I am also modeling to her what a strong, intelligent woman is. Charactoristics I hope and pray my daughter has someday. So there are tradeoffs.

The Appellate Grief (Oh I mean brief).

The dreaded experience of the first year student is the appellate brief. The first semester the legal research and writing class drills into you the importance of writing neutral style. This semester, the student is taught how to write persuasively. But it's not like any persuasive I have ever written.

The appellate brief is a time intensive experience. Lots of research, lots of stomach aches, and little sleep=stressed out student. And all for a class that shells out only 2 credits and credit/no credit. (this is the grief part),

Part of the appellate process include a mandatory requirement to argue the brief where you are judged. The oral argument follows like an experience at the Supreme Court where the court will "pepper" you with questions, one after the other. The student is judged on how well s/he keeps composure, transitions, and deals with the judges.

The whole process gives a whole new meaning to the words "over stretched." 2L's, 3L's, and the Professors assure us that we will come out the other side alive and enthused. Right now I would be happy to just feel like I got some sleep:)

The moral dilemma of law school

Coming to law school, I heard so many conflicting advice. Some seemed reasonable, other advice seemed downright silly. One thing that I heard over and over was that the first year of law school creates a sense of having your beliefs torn apart. I totally concur in that analysis.

Reading as many cases as you do the first year, you note right away that the law is not always fair. Many times the decisions within the cases come smack against what your gut is telling you is wrong. And morally it is. The biggest struggle for me is that moral does not always equal legal.

Professors are at you all the time. And when you make a comment, you better be able to back it up with an intelligent analysis. Morality is not a good answer.

Here's a true story of legal vs. moral: A man lures a 7 year girl away from her father, into a bathroom at a casino in Las Vegas. The man proceeds to rape and kill her, leaving her in the bathroom stall. The worst was that his buddy watched over the wall of the next stall and did nothing. The police could not arrest him because he had not legal duty to stop his friend. And because he was not an active participant, he could not be charged with accompliace or conspiracy.

As a parent, you hear this story and feel outraged and disgusted. In the deepest part of your gut, it is beyond "icky," it is just plain morally disgusting. But legally, the man who stood by and watched a little girl raped in her last moments of life, and killed--he is innocent.

Swallowing this is a bitter pill. The student feels disillusioned because we are taught from the time we are little that the law is "just" and "fair."

I am still grappling with the identity crisis I suffered because of this horrible shock. It sounds dramatic, but is true. When a student, or lawyer, tells you that your soul will be challenged and your beliefs threated, take heed to the warning and be prepared.

I have no tips on how to deal with it. I tell myself that I am going to be a prosecutor, a "good guy" and I can live and believe in the law as it exists. I am still excited for my future, but more cynical.

Book Review: "The Nine" by Jeffery Toobin

Last week one of my professors recommended "The Nine" to our class. I was looking for something I could read, non-fiction, that I could get into, and so I purchased it.

If you are thinking about attending law school (or if you are currently a student), I HIGHLY recommend this book. I wish I would have read this prior to coming to law school. The book gives the reader a behind the scenes look at the Justices on the Supreme Court, their ideology, and their personal beliefs and lives. The author also details many of the Surpreme Court cases that I have read this year, and explains how deals were brokered behind the scenes.

Society often sees these men (and woman) as above the rest of us in some cloistered lifestyle. Yes, they are cloistered, but they are not immune from the very struggles that we the people (the ordinary ones) face. They carry the same dreams, the same fears, and face the same struggles like Cancer, Alzheimer's, bigotry, and paternalism.

The book also chronicles power brokers, lobbyests, and influential legal minds and how they have shaped decisions within the last 25-30 years of history.

Beware that if you are a conservative, that there are times that it may outright offend you. The author clearly has a political ideology agenda and is particularlly vicious and unflattering of the right. The book was written with an obvious bias, but that does not diminish the importance of the work.

The Importance of a Nice Suit

For the first time in my life, I bought a suit. Being a poor law student with impeccable taste, this was a trying thing for me. I am also petite in stature, which makes it really hard to find something. I searched through piles and then hit pay dirt at Macy's. Since it was the end of the season, I was able to get a really nice suit that regularly sells for $320.00, for 59.99--Yeah me!

Now, I have always thought that women lose some femine looks in a suit. But not so. Suits are investments. Don't be afraid to pay the $$$ for one because when it is made well, it hangs well on the body and defines your curves.

Suits carry a certain amount of respect. I am slightly addicted to shopping. I don't have to buy things, I just like to wander and look and wish. Usually I do it in a pair of jeans and hoodie. Today, after my interview, I needed to pick up some MAC, so off I went to the mall in my suit. I was surrounded by sales people whereever I went. Suit=the look of money. Also, a good suit gives a woman a certain amount of confidence. This confidence actually boosts her femininity. And this draws additional attention to herself.

One important tip that Mom might not have shared with you: Always, and I mean ALWAYS, when trying on your suit, sit in it. Sounds funny, but this is actually very important. Why? Simple, you want to know if the waistband will cut into you. And you want to know if the suit jacket or pants bunch unattractively.

Anyway, I love my suit so much, I purchased another one! Darn, I look good. (Although, my daughter says I look "boring." I had to explain I look lawyerly!)

Interviewing as a 1L

Yesterday and today, I interviewed for law clerk positions. The first was with the Marion County DA's office. The second interview was with the Department of Justice.

The process was interesting for me. I have not interviewed for 12 years. Prior to today, I have always been on the other side of the desk, asking the questions. Being in the hotseat again after so many years was, oddly enough, fun.

Now, as to the interviews: they were undoubtedly the most strange interviews EVER.

For the DA's office---No questions about my grades at all. Random questions like: "Have you ever been arrested?" I said no. They replied, "If you were to be arrested, what would it be for?" HUH?!?!?!?! Did I miss something? More seemingly random questions followed.

One thing having lived life prior to law school, nothing that was thrown at me intimidated me. I was calm, confident, and poised. Although, I left confused. Late last night it dawned on me the reason for the random questions. To make it to law school, you have to be intelligent. To place in the top 20%, you have to be smart and dedicated. The DA's office was looking specifically at my personality and whether or not I would mesh with the other lawyers, and potential law clerks in the office.

Next interview was with the DOJ. Here I made a crucial mistake. I was interviewing with two different departments. I answered why I would make a good fit with one department, and the person interviewing with the other department ruled me out because I sold myself really well to the first one.

I was interviewed by three people, all whom were very nice. But interestingly enough, I answered 4 questions total and they did most of the talking.

And then I committed the interview no-no. I was asked a question. The only way I could truthfully answer the question was to admit that I am a single parent. Something you are told never to do in an interview. The problem is that it is important that while interviewing YOU BE YOURSELF. And part of that was to explain who I am and how I got to where I am. My daughter is a large part of this.

They were gracious and actually made me feel good. They commended my accomplishments and congradulated me for meeting my goals.

Anyway, it was interesting all around............But very different from how I imagined.